Silvo Berlusconi is Killing It

Ahhh Italy. The land of pizza, fashion, FIAT and lurid staring men. Italy is one of my favourite places for all of these reasons, and also because it’s next to my second favourite country ever, Switzerland – the land of ballers and Nazi gold. So it stands to fairly decent reason, that Italians also kill it right (given that their country go in like a mug)? And by virtue of that logic, the elected leader of their country, should also kill it right? My mind’s eye is projecting a flow chart here…

"Sto ucciderlo? Certo!"

Well let’s break this down mathematically and scientifically. It’s inarguable, that if you’re a world leader, you’re already killing it. It’s also inarguable, that if you’re an ageing Italian billionaire, who runs the nation’s media, you’re #goinin about as hard as is humanly possible.

It’s also inarguable that if you own one of the world’s best football teams, you’re slaying shit like the eponymous metal band. Berlusconi does the whole damn thing!!!!!!!!!!!

He’s the Paul’s Warehouse of the world scene. Mother fucker, Does. It. All.

Silvio this week survived a no-confidence vote against him in the Italian Parliament; which would potentially have sent this machismo laden, burn machine into political exile – certainly not a favourable outcome for right wing lunatics nor fans of ageing lotharios running places.

(Note: it’s probably best to avoid his borderline paedophilic relationships with family friends, and callous attitudes towards womens when considering the killing it stakes. I can be glib, but I have some damn class, yahear?).

Fresh. To. Death

Some choice Berlo quotes? Sure.

 “As always, I work without interruption and if occasionally I happen to look a beautiful girl in the face, it’s better to like beautiful girls than to be gay,”

 “Mr Obama is young, handsome and suntanned”.

“Mussolini never killed anyone. Mussolini used to send people on vacation in internal exile.”

Advice to victims of the Aquila Earthquake? “They should see it like a weekend of camping.”

“An Aids patient asks his doctor whether the sand treatment prescribed him will do any good. ‘No’, the doctor replies, ‘but you will get accustomed to living under the earth”


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