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Lio Messi is killing it. Guest Post by Bongo 424

Sup sup?!? – followers of this blog may have noticed the diligent follower and all around nice guy, bongo424, bringing the lolz in the comment sections since the dawn of blog-time.

Interestingly, I actually caught up with Bongo on a wholly unexpected but highly enjoyable trip to the Big Merino this weekend past. Bongo incessantly puffed pharmaceutical grade ventolin as he opined liberally on a number of topics, but it was clear that his truest love was reservced for Barcelona footballer, Lionel Messi – a man we both agree is killing it.

As such, I invited Bongo to drop some knowledge on the subject… I will be responding in king shortly, with my take on why Cristiano Ronaldo, is killing it, but in the meantime – over to you Bongo424.

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Oh hi James. It’s Bongo424 here, and I’m really grateful you’ve let me write on your blog to talk about who I think is killing it. (Which is the Barcelona and Argentina star, Lionel Messi. And oh boy, is he absolutely braining it or what?! I’m going to really enjoy writing about him. He is a marvel!) But before I tee off (I plan to drive 400yds down the old thought-fairway on this theme James, LONG, STRAIGHT and THROUGH THE BALL), can I just say that you are really killing it James? Would you let me say that? I’ve been a long time reader and occasional commenter on this blog and wow! I mean, it is coming up on Killing-it-Ville at pace! My mate Terry – you know Terry, for sure? – well he knows lots of people on the internet and he says they are really starting to notice this blog. The wind’s picking up on the WorldWide. And I’m not the only one smelling ya man.
 
 
But my theme! I should probably get back to my theme. Hey James, what was that theme? Oh yes. Something or other along the lines of something like this: Lionel Messi And Why I Do Believe He Is Killing it, Particularly Vis-a-Vis That Other Goal-Scoring Latin Winger, Cristiano Ronaldo. What a wonderful opportunity to write about this theme I have here. What a wonderful opportunity for Bongo424. It is such a wonderful opportunity, and I am determined as all holy hell to make the most of it. I just wonder where to start…
 
Maybe lets start with this article from the grand ol’ girl of Iranian media, the Tehran Times.

I’m not completely completely au fait as to its sporting biases, but I don’t think the TT holds any strong Jones for the little Argentinian. So I think we’re safe in taking this article as FACT, not Catalan propaganda, and thus the first plank of ply in the building of my little house of argument. Lionel Messi. The best player in the world. His name’s Lionel. And he dedicates all his goals to his grandma.Now from what I understand, Lionel Messi has parents and he’s perfectly happy with them. So its not as if he was solely raised by his grandma and she’s all he knew of family. He’s got plenty of family. He got family coming out of his little dancin’ feet. He just likes to single out his grandma (RIP) whenever he scores a goal. Pretty nice? I think that’s pretty nice. He’s a pretty nice guy.

 
Which is why I hope things turn out well with his GF, and wife-to-be, Antonella. Here you can read about Antonella’s “simple and fresh look”.
 
 
And in Antonella, Lionel’s also found someone shorter than himself, which for a man who’s about 4ft3 underground is no small achievement. And she’s “humble” and she’s “quiet,” just like Lionel. You don’t hear a peep from Lionel. Really, once you think about it, there’s not gonna be much sound coming from the Lionel and Antonella house. Not unless their kids buck the family instinct for quietude. So they’d be excellent neighbours. And that might not be your first criteria for killing it, but with the population rising and our cities becoming that much more dense, maybe it should be. You can’t have a planet full of Latin footballers thumping Sash or Buena Vista Social Club at all hours. Lionel Messi: loves his dearly departed grannie and, when he settles down with his missus, an excellent neighbour. The man is killing it.
  
And I haven’t even talked about his hair yet. Tap “Lionel Messi Hair” into the interweb and the Google people take you to this website cataloguing baby photos of footballers.
 
 
And what you learn from these pics is that Lionel Messi’s hair has become more babyish, more my-mother-makes-me-wear-it-like-this-cos-she-regrets-the-fact-that-I’m-no-longer-her-little-boy, as he’s got older. Three-year old Lionel, he’s got the typical salad bowl over the cranium cut we all had at the age. Nothing wrong with that. Holy Communion Lionel, why, he’s practically a Mod, short on top and ears exposed to view. But sporting phenomenon Lionel? Man in the media Lionel? He’s a Sunday school dweeb. Maybe his grandma wanted him to keep it like that. Maybe Antonella likes the humility of the mid-length. But he’s the best footballer in the world and he insists on looking got like Mark Holden. Where I come from, that means killing it.
Boy I gotta thank you for this opportunity man. It has been a blast! Boy this has been fun! And I can’t wait to hear more from ya man. Tell me I’m wrong, tell me C-Ron is the business. And then I’ll hit ya back with more Leo. How ‘bout that?Bongo424, one internet handle who really loves a guest spot.

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Rugby League: you are definitely k_ll_ng _t

I think we can all agree what really killed it this weekend. The game of the genius, the brain child of Isaac Newton, Plato and Einstein combined started it’s season once again.

Perfected by Stephen Hawking with the implementation of the 40/20 theory, Rugby League as we know it was displaying it’s full genius infused thoroughbred pedigree this past Friday-Monday – setting us up for a season of big hits and even bigger men.

Lote Tu-killinginit

Rugby league is back – the greatest game of them all has finally ridden us of the tyranny of summer and given us a ‘raison de tuer-le‘ each weekend for the rest of the year.

So many sub plots – Carney, Lote, Souths losing and a controversial turn of events which resulted in a drug gang defeating a team of community activitsts – yet 30 more weeks of this invention to play out.

I turn it over to you now – who is going to kill it most this year?????

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Wayne Rooney is killing it

As we speak, the man is treating AC Milan, one of the proudest football clubs on the world like his personal ‘dial-a-gran’ service – scoring twice in the second leg of the UEFA Champions League round of 16.

Wayne has been around for a while; so we take his aesthetic for granted, but it bears dwelling on.

look at him… LOOK AT HIM!!!!!

He’s the most English man In the world. Give him a fake Gucci hat and a bum bag and put him in a high street and you’ve got yourself a civil disturbance misdemeanor.

He plays like a goddamned angel though, and I speak for the entire empire when I say we’ll be pleased to see this rough as guts notherner ruffle the feathers of the fancy continental types, snobby scandanavians and cheating South Americans.

Any proud, level headed human must agree.

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Haters be damned: Pim Verbeek is killing it

After the Australian National Soccer team ground out a win against the might of Indonesia at Suncorp Stadium last night, you could almost hear the naysaying scratches of media pencils and click clack of haters all up in the interwebs bitching and moaning about the Socceroos under Pim – unimpressive in victory, even against some of the minnows of the international game.

Pim Verbeek is popping tags

Sure, this might be fair – we all long for the days of 16-0 victories over American Samoa and the like; we’re Australian, the more goals, the flashier play, innevitably the better – right?

WRONG!!!

PIM VERBEEK IS KILLING IT AND HERE ARE THE REASONS WHY!

1) Winningest Coach in Socceroo History

Forget Guus Hiddink and his 15 minutes of fame; likewise Terry Venables and his hares breath of a miss on qualifying for France 98 and particularly, screw Frank Farina and his drink driving approach to coaching. Pim beats them all; how you like him now?

2) Stronger International Competition is Around the Corner

Consider this – our possession domination against Indonesia was about the same as Frank Farina’s blood alcohol level – approximately 90%. When we play the likes of Germany and even Ghana and Serbia in the World Cup, our possession will be approaching the blood alcohol level of national darling and snowboarding mormon, Torah Bright – zero.

Pim has us playing out a specific set of scenarios – training his team to pick out a big man in the box (Indonesia). Training his team to play counter-attacking football (South Korea). Training his team to contain play in the middle and slow the pace of the midfield (Qatar). These are the skills we’ll require to beat th best in the world, and another reason why Pim is killing it.

3) Dutch Swagger

Pim is copping it from the media; the likes of Craig Foster and Robbie Slater who are still bitter they never had a World Cup, and in the case of Foster, a significant international career.

Pim has crooked teeth and a bald spot, and he acts like the don of a dutch five families crew. Guus was a cuddly dutch fluffer, but Pim is the alpha dog, the master of the universe, the big swinging dick of the socceroos.

Pim Verbeek is killing it – and y’all need to recognise because come a decent world cup performance, you will e smoking his pancake.

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Brendan Fevola is killing it?

It’s a fair question. Love or loathe the Lions’ big goal kicker, you objectively have to admire his moxie. Getting ridiculously loaded at the browlows and rocking the red carpet while belting a dozen crown lagers is easily the funniest thing I’ve ever seen – and I even watched caddyshack last night.

The poster child of sporting infidelity years before TMZ.com was even a glint in some LA douchebag’s eye, Fev locked down an extramarital tryst with what would become one of the highest profile woman in Australia. Even more killing it – he took photos of her in the shower.

I don’t admire his behaiour – kind’ve bad to cheat on your wife who you have 3 children with – but you have to admire his forsight.

You also have to say, if you’re going for a king of the arseholes and AFL badboy moniker, Brendan Fevola is totally killing it.

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