Tag Archives: wayne rooney

Wayne Rooney is killing it

As we speak, the man is treating AC Milan, one of the proudest football clubs on the world like his personal ‘dial-a-gran’ service – scoring twice in the second leg of the UEFA Champions League round of 16.

Wayne has been around for a while; so we take his aesthetic for granted, but it bears dwelling on.

look at him… LOOK AT HIM!!!!!

He’s the most English man In the world. Give him a fake Gucci hat and a bum bag and put him in a high street and you’ve got yourself a civil disturbance misdemeanor.

He plays like a goddamned angel though, and I speak for the entire empire when I say we’ll be pleased to see this rough as guts notherner ruffle the feathers of the fancy continental types, snobby scandanavians and cheating South Americans.

Any proud, level headed human must agree.



Filed under sports